No scratch that. I judge, and judge hard. Those people can bite me.
But something happened on Thursday January 13th 2011, the Third Annual International Day to Bite Me, which gave pause. And it goes to the heart of what the day is all about.
I made a PowerPoint presentation. Now, a lot of people may race ahead to the conclusion that this formed part of the problem. Not at all. I adore PowerPoint. My decks are like poetry; not meant to be read, but to be spoken. They are drama. Everybody loves them. For the first ten minutes, anyway.
As ever, when setting up, the audience caught a glimpse of my laptop's desktop. It held all the electronic documents that I was working on, or using. It showed a few bits of flotsam; scratch-spreadsheets, e-books, installers that had been downloaded and used, but not discarded. You know, the usual stuff.
One audience member saw the screen, and gasped. "Wow", he said.
This wasn't a good wow. It was a that-must-have-hurt wow. A three-car-pile-up wow. It was an I-really-wanted-to-say-fucking-hell wow.
"Hat der Herr ein Problem?" I asked in German. Does the gentleman have a problem?
He replied in English. "No, no problem. Just...um, wow."
Think about this. If there is one desktop which needs no tidiness, it's the desktop on your computer. If you can't find something, hit search. It can be anywhere, and you'll find it.
But my colleague didn't get that far. His hindbrain jerked his instincts. It conflated the normal disorder of the active workbench, with dangerous chaos.
Now there are some people with those instincts, and some not. I don't have those instincts to any great degree. For me, the actual work is of more importance than the form it takes.
And real work takes mess; on yourdesk, on your desktop, in the library, on your workbench, in your kitchen, under your car, in your legislature.
And that's what the International Day to Bite Me celebrates. Actual work getting done, thoughts being thought, deals being closed and fun being had.
When somebody sneers at your desk tomorrow, tell them to bite you. When someone sneers a your parking, tell them to bite you. When someone sneers at your kitchen, tell them to bite you. Then tell us on the IDTBM home page. Or the IDTBM facebook event page. Or tweet about it with the tag #bitemeday.
Make us say "wow". In a good way.