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2 entries from July 2011

Ordnung ist das Halbe Leben 2

A sense of order
A sense of order brings rewards/gives you an advantage

Patients, wait
Please read!!! Discharges.  For the pending release (and admission) of patients, please take a waiting area place (!in front of the wheelchair!)  You will be summoned individually!!!

Patients, wait
Highly esteemed customers, 

We ask that you please understand that we cannot allow in the hospital cafeteria, the consumption of food or drink brought with you, or bought in the kiosk.

With friendly greetings,

The Management

Highly esteemed customers, 

We ask that you please understand that items taken from the ward cannot be exchanged [for cafeteria food].

With friendly greetings,

The Management

Refrigerator instructions 1
On this refrigerator, in a hospital day-room, we see three signs which tell (valued) patients to place their used crockery on top, just as they should do with their tea cannisters, and their thermos flasks.  The thermos flasks earn a !!! Further notices say that the refrigerator is to be used only for groceries, and that all contents must bear identification.  By a quirk of the German language, this can also mean all groceries should have a license plate.

A young doctor asked me what was so interesting about this refrigerator, that I should want a picture of it.  I replied that it seemed very German to me.  "Ja," she admitted, "das stimmt."

Screen shot 2011-11-21 at 15.59.42
Hello everyone,

Your attention, if you please.

This weekend, the cleaning lady will clean the refrigerator. 

From this evening at 6 pm, all open edible wares must be removed from the refigerator, as well as all which have reached their use-by date.  Any items not removed will be disposed of without further consultation.

Thank you for your understanding and co-operation!

Refrigerator instructions 1
The pictograms explain the procedure for disposing of your used crockery, in the cafeteria of a major German multinational company.   One must place one's tray on the moving belt, make sure the dishes are not stacked, put the cutlery on the tray (as you can see, I forgot to do that) and make sure your paper napkin is not left among the food scraps, but thrown into the chute which you see at the bottom right.

Refrigerator instructions 1
For your safety! The Correct Usage of the Shopping Trolley [in this hardware store]

  • Carry children so [in the child's seat]
  • Always hold the handle tight [on moving walkways]
  • Don't overload (max 160 kg/350 lb)
  • Don't let objects poke out
  • Over 120 kg/260 lb forbidden  [I detect a little confusion, here. Erklärung, bitte!]
  • And furthermore, very esteemed customers, on safety grounds please use ONLY shopping trollies on loan from in-house

Refrigerator instructions 1

Dear parents, dear children, we ask that before you play,
you attend to the following points...

I shan't tell you everything (!) which parents and children must bear in mind at this autobahn cafe in Franconia. Yhese are rules for using the play-apparatus which we, in English, would call monkey bars or a jungle gym.  Among them, though we see three separate warnings for children to climb inside the apparatus rather than on the outside, for children to take their shoes off, maintain a polite attitude, for them to leave their dogs or other animals outside, and not to smoke.

(For previous Ordnung, click here)